True as God? Part 2
April 22, 2009 by Michael Nugent
Here are ten more examples of passages from the Christian Bible that are either silly or unjust. You can read the first ten examples in the series here.
11. God will save only 144,000 male virgins, undefiled by women (Rev 14:3-5)
And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was found no guile: for they are without fault before the throne of God.
12. Effeminate people are unrighteous and cannot go to heaven (1 Cor 6:9-10)
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
13. Jesus sent devils into 2,000 pigs and drowned them in the sea (Mark 5:11-13)
Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding. And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them. And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea.
14. If you believe in Jesus you can safely drink poison (Mark 16:16-18)
He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
15. Jesus ordered his apostles to sell their clothes to buy swords (Luke 22:35-38)
And he said unto them, When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing. Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. For I say unto you, that this that is written must yet be accomplished in me, And he was reckoned among the transgressors: for the things concerning me have an end. And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough.
16. Women must not teach and must learn in silence (1 Tim 2:11-14)
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
17. Priests may not shave off the corners of their beards (Lev 21:5)
They shall not make baldness upon their head, neither shall they shave off the corner of their beard, nor make any cuttings in their flesh.
18. Priests may not marry a whore or a divorced woman (Lev 21:7)
They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.
19. If a priest’s daughter plays the whore, she must be burned with fire (Lev 21:9)
And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.
20. It is unnatural and shameful for men to have long hair (1 Cor 11:14)
Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
Photo: Bible Title Page by mrbill (cc)
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I think you’re misinterpreting Lev. 22:10-12. I checked some other versions and I think it means that the high priest must not enter a room with a dead body.
I read the other verses in several versions and do not think you misunderstood them. Scary!
You may be right about that, Asa.
There may be a distinction between “going in unto” someone, which seems to mean having sex, and “going in to” someone, which is the phrase used in Lev 22:10-12. I’ll try to check it up further. Thanks for that.
In the meantime, I have replaced it with the very silly 1 Cor 11:14, which points out that it is unnatural and shameful for men to have long hair.
Regarding 1 Cor 11:14 it’s hard to find a picture of Jesus where he does not have long hair. Hmmm…
You are right. All of those pictures are wrong because in that culture it was shameful to have long hair. Which shows that this verse is no more silly than the culture it was written in.
It seems that many Chirstians don’t read the bible and are unware of much of what he said for example the following are attributed to Jesus in Matthew:
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other.
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Let the dead bury their own dead
Asa,
Good observation. A majority of these verses are misquoted, misrepresented, and all of them are presented out of context.
Matt
Well, I actually don’t think most of them are misrepresented, though atheists often quote ‘bad bible verses’ too fast. In some cases it is harder to explain why the verse is silly to Christians. Some verses have more tempting explanations than others… The question here is whether the Bible was directly or nearly directly inspired by the perfectly wise, omniscient and omnipotent creator of the universe. It’s not whether the Bible is in general an interesting book when you look at it from a human perspective.
Also, note that Mr. Nugent was very quick to admit his mistake and correct it. I respect him for that. I did find the KJV version’s way of explaining “going in to a body” pretty funny though. It’s very sad that so many Christians believe the KJV to be the most inspired version of the Bible, even today. Even if the Bible were God’s Word, you would need a lot of scholarship to understand the translation from 1611. Also, I don’t see why this version is so popular when we have so many more resources today.